Saturday, January 16, 2010

Happy New Year!!

Hello my Big Divas and Big Divas in Training!  Happy New Year!!  I sincerely hope that you all had joyous holidays!

You know what they say:  New year, new beginning!  Out with the old and in with the new: new attitude, new good habits, new relationships, new experiences.  It's time to reassess the things that happened last year and make a plan for what you want to happen in the new year.  It's time to move forward.

Before the end of the year, I heard so many people say that they could not wait for 2009 to be over.  Here's an example of some of the complaints:
  • This was such a horrible year.  I'm 37 and still unmarried, all of the good guys are taken or dead.  
  • I lost my job. 
  • My neighbor and I aren't speaking ever since he parked in a spot that I shoveled out from under 2 feet of snow. 
  • My kids are so bad; and the list continues.
My question is this:  How is 2010, (or anytime in the future for that matter), going to be any better, if the focus is on the negativity of last year and / or prior years?  How is it possible to move forward and start anew that way?    The answer is that this year and future years will NOT be any different than the prior years and it is NOT possible to move forward SUCCESSFULLY that way.  Here's why...

A new year + a fresh start + new goals + new hopes + the SAME PERSON, (dragging baggage, negativity, and all) = THE SAME EXPERIENCES!  Everything in that equation is new, except the person.  Did you notice that?  A change of scenery, a new job, a new significant other, a new whatever is not going to change anyone's life unless some changes are made internally.

Entering into this new year complaining about things of the past, gives those things power over the direction of your life.  Focusing on the negative guarantees that there will be even more negativity in the future.

Every year, many of us start out with resolutions.  You know the main ones: lose weight, exercise more, get organized / declutter, cut back on spending and save more money, quit smoking and / or drinking, and get out more and enjoy life.  It's a great idea, but most resolutions don't last.  That is because most people don't bother to make any internal changes, which could help to make lasting positive external changes.

Long lasting change starts with an HONEST assessment of yourself to figure out where there are blockages.  These blockages may require forgiveness and letting go.  We'll go deeper into that in another post.

So for now, shift your focus from the negative aspect of last year to the positive.  Look at some of your complaints and search for the positive in them.  Let's take a couple of the complaints from above:  "I'm 37 and still unmarried, all of the good guys are taken or dead."  We can flip this to a positive by saying, "I am grateful for being single last year.  It gave me time to focus on my children.  It allowed me to work on myself, tend to my needs, and helped prepare me for a positive relationship in the future.  Now, I am ready to get out there and find my partner."  That is a good starting point, and from there you can figure out how you are going to do that.

Another complaint mentioned above was the loss of a job.  That complaint could be flipped by saying, "I may not have been ready to lose my job, but I am strong and am sure that I will come out on top.  I know that all things happen for a reason and in the right time.  I have faith that everything will work out just fine.  I can use this time to work on my career goals.  There are so many things that I can do with this time to cultivate my other interests and skills.  I have it in me to dig deep and prosper."  So many people have used this time to take classes, change their career focus to another industry, and even start their own businesses.

What were some of the complaints that you made at the start of the year and how can you flip them into the positive?  You still have time to change your focus and change direction of your new year.  I guarantee that!

In the coming blog posts this month and next, we'll talk about personal responsibility, forgiveness and letting go, goal setting, money, the importance of water, the power of affirmations, and more.  I'll share with you the bloggers that have helped me along my journey to Big Divadom with the hopes that they, too, can help you.  I'll also be introducing exercises, homework assignments, and my 30 day experiments.  This is going to be a big year for BDHq!!  Be here and present!


  1. Kesha (Butterfly_Betty)January 18, 2010 at 3:46 AM

    I never read your blog when you first post a new blog post. I always end up reading it when I NEED to. Today, I NEEDED to read this. It was so on point, & was needed to help keep me focused on my optimistic/positive thinking. I thank you for what you do. In case you don't know, you do help a sista out a lot with her life journey to become a better person. I thank you. Keep the posting coming lady. LOL.

  2. Thank you so much, Kesha! It means a lot to me that the blog is helpful in some way. :-) Keep up the positivity! Peace and continued blessings on your journey...

    Ms. Pillowz

  3. I read the 2 most recent posts, and I love what you have to say! Good luck with this venture and I do hope that 2010 will be a year of working on the positive aspects, and leaving the negativity in the past. (Although I was glad you stood up to the promoter who made the negative comment in the previous post.)

  4. Thank so much! I'm glad that you stopped by. I really appreciate your kind words and your support. Peace and blessings!