Saturday, July 10, 2010

I Am Prepared?


You build on failure.  You use it as a stepping stone.  Close the door on the past.  You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it.  You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.   - Johnny Cash
Space and light and order.  Those are the things that men need just as much as they need bread or a place to sleep.   - Le Corbusier
Your personal space says a lot about you.  How you live, how you handle life.  It's a testament to how you treat your body and what you think about yourself.  Your personal space says a lot. 

I'll be honest.  My personal space is cluttered.  I exhibit pack rat tendencies.  Physically and emotionally, this is how I've been known to roll. I keep things.  Things that don't mean anything.  Things that no longer serve a purpose in my life.  Things that I think that I need, but don't use and things that I think may come in handy later.  Emotionally, it is the same thing.  I keep things, defense mechanisms that I don't need, fears that do me no good, guilt for things that have long since been paid for, unwarranted shame, and built up anger.  In both cases, I can say that I am not a candidate for Hoarders on Bravo.  My "house" is neat, it's all organized confusion, an oxymoron if there ever was one.  I buy plastic containers, pretty boxes, and tall shelves to provide additional storage options, but let's face it.  No matter how or where things are stored, it is still clutter and it isn't good to keep.  Clutter of any kind blocks energy flow, creativity, focus, and blessings.  I've started on the good foot so many times. 

I've made changes.  I've lost weight.  I've cleaned up, but as my house reflects, I have not truly released things.  Therefore, the changes that I've made revert back to my default.  The weight that was lost finds its way back.  The creative flow and productivity comes to a halt and things return to a disorganized state.  How am I back here?  It's like a boomerang.  You can throw it far, but it always comes back.  Forward progress is good.   Actually, it's great.  Who in their "right mind" wants to go back?  Notice that "right mind" is in bold.  In order to keep moving forward, your mind has to be right.

How many cases have you seen where someone has lost weight in some dramatic way, (pills, a fad diet, surgery), and after losing tens to hundreds of pounds, they eventually gain back the weight?  What about all of those people who've won millions from the lottery only to end up totally broke in a matter of years?  Their minds weren't right.  Their houses weren't in order.  It was filled with the clutter of their negative beliefs that got them to where they were to begin with: overweight, broke, lonely, unhappy, or depressed or all of the above.  They weren't prepared and neither was I.  So, how could any of us expect lasting change?  I'm curious to know your thoughts.

To be continued...


  1. we are so on the same page! You'll see why later of course :) I work on that every week, getting rid of stuff that I know i'm not going to use by either throwing it away, giving it away or donating it to good will. Someone once told me that if we hold onto the things that do not "really matter", how can we expect to get the things to come that do "really matter" I can't wait to read the rest, thanks for giving us something to think about!

  2. Your friend is so right! Clutter takes up so much space in both cases. You can't pile beautiful new things on top of crap and expect things to be great. It doesn't work that way. We've got to get in there and clean it all out so that we can make space for the new. I'll leave you with my quote of the day from Tori Amos, "Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin."

  3. sometimes,
    i think my own baggage prevents me from my greatness,
    and i have to ask myself,
    why won't i let myself be great?!

    in theory,
    it's so easy to free yourself,
    and live up to your potential.
    the truth is,
    it's hard and scary.

    my two biggest issues are my weight
    (either accepting my body 100% & not caring about the number,
    or truly doing the work to be as healthy as i want to be)
    and finding unconditional love.

    i hold onto the past.
    i keep my thoughts realistic,
    as to not disappoint myself.

    but your question is so valid:
    how can we expect lasting change if our minds aren't right first?!

    since i don't have the unconditional love of my nuclear family,
    and therefore am unsure if i have it with my besties,
    i'm trying to find unconditional love with myself,
    starting by focusing on the good in my life
    and the triumphs i've made despite the obstacles.

    thank you for this post!

  4. Wow... Your comment was so deep. Thank you so much for sharing.

    You are most certainly not alone. That is the question that many of us ask ourselves. Why can't I let myself be great? I think that it is mostly fear that keeps us from doing so. We know what to expect at our current place. It is the devil we know and doing something different leaves us open to anything.

    I was listening to a podcast yesterday where a woman who struggled with her weight, one day sat down on her bed and out of anger and frustration started saying to her body, "I hate you! I hate you!" She said that her body answered her by saying, "But I'm just trying to help you. I only want to protect you." When I heard that, my body resonated so strongly with that feeling and I instantly started to cry. There is a lifetime of hurt, pain, disappointment, and anger in all of us, that we, at some point, have to let go of in order to progress.

    I sincerely commend you for the effort that you are making on your journey. It brings to mind a friend's blog about her search for for joy. I highly recommend it: Chasing Joy or Maybe Just Running From Boredom. (

    Peace and many blessings to you!

  5. Christopher D.WeaverJuly 14, 2010 at 6:51 AM

    Energy can either be in motion or not at all...If we don't clear the space that is needed for it to flow properly, it may not move to its proper destination. What you said was quite accurate and needed. I am thinking about how being raised down south, especially in a African American home, that we were taught to never throw anything away, unless it was necessary. Grease, old clothes, silly as it may sound, was always recycled. But I guess I never thought about how bad feelings and emotions and spirits can be recycled over and over again, food for thought! Thanks for posting this :)

  6. Thank you for your comment, Christopher! Grease... So true, even if it makes no sense. Stick with us as we talk about the process of clearing out. :-)

  7. There is definately a certain amount of fear that keeps us from making change. The hard part is truely understanding and idetntifying the fears. I am struggleing with these same issues just like the rest of us. One day at a time working on being a better you.

    P.S. Thanks for the shout out Ms. Pillowz.

  8. That's right! One day at a time, that's all you can do. You can only control the present. The present has been on my mind lately. A recent affirmation that I have been saying is that I am perfect for this moment. I say it, because I am doing the best that I can with what I am given, so it is perfect for right now. I found a good quote about it today: "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly." -Buddha

    You're welcome for the shout out. Thanks for such a great blog. :-)

  9. i have been a pack rat forever! my mom was and i just took on the same characteristic.

    as i have gotten older i have more and more worked to take control of it...although it doesnt stop me from doing things, it does get in the way...literally...

    but i have worked really hard since i have been on my own at 18 to make my life my not allow the things that are counter to living the life i want dominate and rule..

    as a result i have assigned this clutter to a its not the defining point...its one point..

    but as i at 41 i am way over more and more...i have to remove it...i have to make space...

    but i always say, regardless of the things that we don't care for about ourselves the first step is to show ourselves note the problem/issues but not get stuck in them...

    to take one step at a time....i now take 15 minute increments to just get rid of stuff via the trash or a freecycle post or bagging up to drop in the donation boxes..

    but as far as releasing emotional clutter goes, i can only add that for me...EFT has helped. meditation has helped. being selfish and putting myself first has helped. not feeling a need to be conventional has helped.

    so i would suggest...that you try a variety of things...which as i am writing this post, i already know that you have begun to do so...but make sure whatever you do, you do it with love...

  10. Thank you so much for your comment! It is so inspiring and definitely had some great points. I especially liked this line, "but i always say, regardless of the things that we don't care for about ourselves the first step is to show ourselves note the problem/issues but not get stuck in them..." I struggle with this often. I get so engrossed in these things that I sometimes can't see past them. I get stuck on it and I am sure that I'm not alone, but like you also said, I am trying some new things like EFT to help me deal better with the issues and treat myself better with more love and kindness. Thank you again for your moving comments. :-)