Monday, October 10, 2011

The Next Level


So, I got engaged!!!

I can't tell you how happy I am to have found someone who is so wonderful to me.  He treats me like the Big Diva Queen that I am.  lol  I'm elated yet in disbelief that I am engaged.  One minute I had a boyfriend, then he went and did that one knee and ring thing and now I have a fiance'.  Damn!  It happened so quick!

I have to admit that even though we intend to have a long engagement, (year or 2 max), I am nervous.  You see, I know how to do me all day on the solo tip.  Sure, I've dabbled in the minor leagues and been hanging around training camps.  This right here though?  The majors, baby, and I'm a rookie.

Through the years, I've pined for a relationship, endured sketchy dating incidents and situations, and sometimes laid in bed at night crying about being lonely and single.  That got tiring, so I read some books, worked on me, bolstered my self esteem, took solo trips, developed more interests, and got comfortable with me.  I used that solo time to learn who I am and what I wanted.  Of course, I developed the typical single lifestyle.  I did what I wanted when I wanted without having to discuss it with anyone first or ask permission or whatever.  If the urge hit me, I'd drop money and head to Puerto Rico by myself the next month.

Then I got into a relationship and it is unlike anything that I've ever experienced.  It's not that the others weren't serious.  Some were, but this is my first real relationship at a point in my life where I'm one with me.  I'm at a point where I'm comfortable in my skin, where I truly feel happy and where I honestly know my worth.  I was a people pleaser.  I was so happy to be with someone that I went put up with crap and went along with things that didn't sit well with me.  As arrogant as this may sound to some of you, I dated people who weren't on my level. They truly weren't worthy.

However, with this relationship, I'm more open and honest than ever.  I find that I've opened up to him about things without hesitation.  He didn't even have to ask.  I found myself telling him some of my "not my finest hour" moments.  You know... the skeletons long since forgotten in the back of the closet but are still stinking up the joint.  lol  My mouth would be moving and my brain would be saying, "Shut the hell up!  Why are you telling him these things?!".  I'd close my eyes, say what I had to say, and then wait for him to get upset or have some kind of negative reaction, which he never did.  He always had something wise to say.

What makes me nervous is that I have been lightly pushed into a territory to which I'm not accustomed.  Before I make weekend plans, I check with him.  When I buy groceries, I have to be considerate of the things that he eats.  I buy more meat than I ever have and I'm not a coffee drinker, but now find myself pricing coffee makers.  I don't randomly extend my work trips like I used to do.  I give up my side of the bed when he comes over, but not without a fight.  lol  I've cleaned and purged my belongings to make more room in my life and home for him.  I know that this is all part of the plan and to be totally honest, this is small fries compared to what is coming.  There is the task of merging of finances, goals, families, and belongings.  Actually, the belongings are easy; His stuff goes.  :p  Ok, ok, that wouldn't be fair, but the idea that I might have to switch out my sage shower curtain for his underwater goldfish is hurting my soul.  lol

The next thing to come is the dreaded "We".  You've heard how couples use it.  "We love candles."  "We're so glad you could make it."  "We support this cause."  "We're pregnant!"  WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!  Did I type that for real?  Ay chihuahua!!!  Anyway, you get my point.  Maybe I'm being ridiculous...  I don't know.  This is just a really interesting time in my life right now.  I am unsure of what will come, but knowing that I have an understanding, logical, reasonable, and supportive fiance' gives me comfort that it will all turn out just fine.  :-)


  1. Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!  As I read this today I thought to myself, yes I am not the only person with these thoughts going through their head.  Granted I'm still in the "Serious Boyfriend" stage, but I can totally relate.  In past relationships I was always annoyed/missing something and it was a quick "onto the next" mentality that made me halt the production of "Dating Sucks".  I to, took a time out and got to know me, inside and out.  What made me happy? What made me tick?  Why did I do certain things that made me the insane person I was becoming....thinking that things were different, but ending up with the same result. Then BAM, you find the one that changes everything, and you find yourself happy to bend but not sure you why you can't jump completely in.  Isn't that half of the joy of life; To grow as a person, feeling your soul stretch and wrap itself around an ever morphing you?  Buy the coffee maker but hold onto the sage offense against underwater goldfish curtains but I feel you on your hesitation with that one!  May your journey to marriagedom be a ride to remember!  I look forward to hearing more of your journey!

  2. ma'am, when i found out you were engaged, i literally teared up. & reading this post, it made me even happier for the both of you. you made yourself whole & put yourself first, then found an amazing guy. that's so good to hear.

    on another note, i hope your post more. i miss reading new stuff on here. :)

  3. You are an absolute sweetheart!! Thank you so much! Your post really means a lot to me, truly. Thank you for your support of the blog too and you're right, I do need to write more. ;-)

  4. lol Thank you!!! SOOO glad that I'm not alone! I am waiting with baited breath for some news from you too!! *Looking at my watch* lol

  5. Awwww thanx Babes. Makes me feel like I made the right decision. LOL. I know I did :)