Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Moving Right Along

Hello my loves! I hope that you had an absolutely wonderful Memorial Day holiday!  I hope that you enjoyed good barbecue, hanging out with your family and friends, and got in a little rest and relaxation to boot.  I know that it was a little rough heading back into work yesterday, maybe even today too, so here's hoping that it gets easier as the rest of the week progresses.  

As promised, I'm back here with a brand new post for you guys.  Keep reading for some great news that I have to share with you!

Photo by Werner Wittersheim

These Past Few Weeks
Can you believe that it is almost June already?  This month has just been sailing by!  These past few weeks have been pretty crazy. I've been super busy.  I travel for work, although this year it has slowed down considerably, (2 trips this year compared to 6 trips this time last year).  I had a work trip to Louisiana a couple weeks ago and I decided to stay in New Orleans for the weekend.  I got a chance to meet cool new peeps, reconnect with a good friend, and take in more of the city that I had not seen the last 2 times I was there.  Between that and the things going on behind the scenes, I haven't really been as on top of the blog as I'd like to be.

Get to the News!
What many of you do not know is that I've started a brand new business!  Yay me!!  Or maybe you knew from a tweet, (Follow me), I sent out earlier this month, but yay me anyway!!  lol  

I am hella super duper excited for the opportunity to build and grow my business, build and grow my relationships and connections with you and more, and continue moving forward in my plan for world domination.   

It's amazing how once you put your dreams out to the Universe, great things start happening and you find yourself attracting opportunities, money, clients, etc., all without really even telling people.  

In the last couple months, I've met a lot of really great people who inspire, motivate, and support me.  Good ideas are coming to me without fail and without effort.  I'm attracting potential clients, team members, and collaborators.  I'm getting answers to all of my questions as to how things can work.  I'm in the process of laying the foundation on which my business will be built and enjoying it all along the way.  You can read more of the details below.

I'm Also Feeling...
As excited as I am for all that is coming my way, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed too.  

I work full-time, do this blog, write, work on the business nights and weekends, and I try to maintain some semblance of a social life.  Most of the work that I do right now is filled with research, practice, building systems, putting ideas together, etc., and a girl is tired!!  

There is just so much to do, so much to learn and try out, and I feel inundated with stuff right now.  Between blog posts and articles about business, technology, productivity, merchandising, licensing, branding, team building, leadership, and personal development, it's simply chaos!!  

To Combat This Feeling
Here are a few things that I am doing to help me ease some of the pressure:

1.  EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique -  EFT is the practice of using tapping on particular pressure points, which helps to release negative emotions.  I have been using it for years for all kind of things.  I discussed how to do it here and I shared some of my results here.  

Recently, I've used this video by Brad Yates, who I highly recommend.    Here are a links to two other tapping solutions about feeling overwhelmed, by some of my fave practitioners: Carol Look provides a script for relieving overwhelm and David Childerley's video is about feeling safe and grounded.

2.  The second thing that helps me with feeling overwhelmed, is giving myself some time.  I keep myself busy and since there is so much to do, I don't necessarily give myself a break.  Being constantly on the go is not good for you.  It increases the likelihood of sickness, shutting down emotionally, and burning out.  

Breaks are good for you. Whether it's taking a nap, meditating, praying, reading, or just vegging out and watching a movie, these are great ways to reinvigorate you.  It truly does something for your psyche.  When I came back from my trip, I was EXHAUSTED.  Traveling takes a lot out of you.  

I was back in the house at almost 1 am on Sunday and just couldn't get to sleep.  I woke up later that morning and I decided that I wanted to stay in my pajamas and lay in bed with my laptop, but I felt so guilty.  I had so much that I should have been doing.  I should have been cleaning my kitchen, changing Chessie's litterbox, unpacking, washing clothes, or writing.  I should have been preparing for work the next day, cooking for the week, or doing my hair.  I was SHOULDING all over myself!  
"I believe that should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use it, we are, in effect, saying that we are wrong...  Replace should with could." - Louise Hay
The thing is, I wanted no parts of any of it.  I posted on FB that I wanted to stay in bed and received so many encouraging responses, so that is exactly what I did.  I laid in bed in my pjs watching The Dark Knight Rises, (Bane's shearling coat made me do it), while eating air popped popcorn and cashews.  

I trolled around Pinterest, pinning until my little heart had it's fill, (Follow me), and read some smut samples on my Kindle.  (I heart my Kindle).  I even wrote a little.  What a great day that was!  I felt so recharged the next day.  It was then that I realized that I don't do that enough.  

There is this inherent thing with a lot of women that we feel guilty whenever we put ourselves first by taking a moment, relaxing, going on vacation, or treating ourselves to something nice.   We must break the cycle, y'all!

3.  The last thing that helps me when I feel overwhelmed, and it is one of the most important lessons I've ever learned, is to be honest with myself and more transparent and vocal with others.  

What I mean, is that so many of us are holding it down with the "S" on our chest.  We do so much in our daily lives.  When people ask us to do things, so many of us have a hard time saying no.  We are already carrying huge burdens and responsibilities and we keep picking up more along the way without a word.  We aren't honest with ourselves that we just don't have the time, energy, money, or interest in doing those things.  We aren't honest with ourselves that we need help and that we can't do everything.  

The second part of this is that once you are honest with yourself about how you feel, the next step is to be transparent and vocalize your feelings and needs to others.  This, I think, can be the hardest part.  It is hard to say no.  It is so hard to say, "I just can't do it."  You feel like you've failed in some way.  You worry about what the other person thinks of you.  Do they think that you are lazy, mean, inconsiderate, irresponsible, or that you are incompetent?   Is your reputation as the go - to person in shambles now?  I know it crosses your mind.  It certainly crosses mine sometimes.  

I am working on doing this more often.  I struggle with a need for perfection and when it comes down to asking for help or saying no, I hesitate.  This blog and my journey have helped me a lot though.  I'm am doing things differently now. 

Here's the deal, you have to do what's best for your health and well being.  Saying no to things that don't serve you, don't enrich you, or take you off of your path and purpose is your RIGHT and it should be exercised on the regular!  Don't you dare apologize!  

Hold your head up and say, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"  Ok, don't say that, but say something to the effect of not having the time to do it or offer another solution FOR THEM to get it done.  You teach people how to treat you and by always saying yes, you are teaching them that no matter what they give you, you'll do it and they don't have to make any effort at all.  

Taking My Own Advice  
I have been honest with myself about how I feel and now I am vocalizing my feelings and course of action with you guys.

I've been posting once every week since I've relaunched the blog.  I've even managed to keep posting while traveling for work, which was difficult, but I am embarking on a new journey and travel season is upon me for the next 2 months, (I'll be out of town for almost 4 weeks total).  Starting next week, I am going to post every other week.  Post day will still be on Wednesdays.  I will post regularly next week and I won't post again until June 19th, which just so happens to be my birthday.  (Break out the confetti!)  I'll be sure to do something extra special!!  :-D

I would like to resume posting weekly.  I recognize that with better systems and more connections for guest posts that I could probably keep doing weekly posts or even post more often, but I'm not there yet.  I may never be, and I'm okay with that.  Just being honest.  Either way, I'm moving right along.  We're moving right along and I promise to communicate with you all along the way.  

Me and you, us never part!! (For all of my Color Purple-heads.)  It. Ain't. Over!!  lol

More About the Business
I'm not quite ready to divulge the location to the Batcave, but suffice it to say, this is the beginning of an empire!  As I mentioned above, I am in the building phase and I'm also solidifying some of the things that I already have out there.  One thing I will say is that I am finally moving forward with one of the things that I have been blessed to do through my job.  I'm building another blog that centers around my travel adventures.  
I will be sharing photos, tips, recommendations, and more, and I would LOVE for you guys to participate too!  (Please oh please?!)  Once it's all together, I will share with you how you can be a part of the project.  Can't Wait!!

Light, Camera, Action
Are you feeling overwhelmed?  What are some of your tips for combating it?

What are your dreams?  What kinds of things are you doing to fulfill your dreams?  I look forward to reading your responses!


  1. Congratulations! It always makes me happy when I see women of colour doing their damn thing!! Keep it up love.

  2. Congratulations on the new business! I'm so excited to see how far you will go. You sure are a go-getter! I think you may have saved my summer by mentioning EFT. Summer is my most stressful season (both kids' birthdays, important holidays, lots of conferences, etc) so I'm going to incorporate EFT into my relaxation program. Thank you so much!

    1. Thank you!! Wow! A go-getter! What's interesting is that I never thought that that was me, but I've been working on it. It must be working! lol

      So, I go from go-getting to a saver of summers?! lol!! EFT is great! I highly recommend it. Please keep me posted on if and how it worked for you!

  3. Congratulations on the business! You touched on a lot of things that I am dealing with as well, FT job, blogging, trying to build a business, family, social life, IS overwhelming! I know you've got it handled though, love your ideas for managing. Good luck on everything!

    1. Thanks!! So glad you stopped by and commented! Good luck to you as well. :-)

  4. These are some great tips love! I myself had to face the "No, I can't do that." I've modified it a bit to be "I would love to help you with X but right now I am just not able. I will let you know if anything changes though." If we say yes to everything, like you said we'll run ourselves rugged and then we're sick, or angry. I like to stay healthy and happy. So letting people know that hey I'd love to help but can't is softer than a straight out no, for you and for them. I can't wait to hear more details on the site and your business. Congrats again chica!

    1. I really liked the wording you used. *committing it to memory* lol Yes, healthy and happy is the way I like to be too! Thank you so much!!!

  5. Congratulations on the new business! That is so awesome!!!