Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Diary of an Emotional Eater - Date: February 6, 2013

Photo by Heather & TIm
Date: February 6, 2013 – 11:39 p.m. 

I just gave my very first webinar presentation tonight.  I feel so... something.  My body is aflame with nervous energy.  Every nerve is tingling.  I'm a ball of energy.  So much so that I'm bouncing off of the walls.  


I can't go to sleep.  Everything in me is burning.  I feel really good right now.  I feel proud.  I feel relieved.  I feel excited.  And surprisingly… I want a cookie. 

I don't know how to describe exactly what I'm feeling.  It is a happy feeling.  It is light.  It is also confusing.  


As good as this feeling feels, I don't know that I want to feel these feelings.  I feel uncomfortable.  I feel like I've completely stepped outside of my comfort zone.  

And all I want to do right now is eat those last Girl Scout cookies.

I'm not hungry.  I had a pretty full dinner.  It is 15 minutes to midnight, I'm not hungry.  And I really don't want to eat.  I don't feel full, but I also don't feel like I'm starving. 


I feel satisfied. And yet, here I am thinking about those damn cookies. 

I don't want to feel this, whatever this is. And by eating a cookie or two or more, I'm doing nothing but stopping myself from feeling this. 

I'm not going to have the cookie.  I'm going to be present and feel how I feel.  


I want to allow myself to feel.   Feel the excitement.  Feel the heightened pulse.  Feel elated that I did it.  

I'm going to experience this feeling.  I'm going to swim in it until my fingertips look like prunes.  

I'll let it flow through me until I come down and finally go to sleep.  

That sounds so much better than stuffing myself with cookies.  I think that I'm taking the first step...
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I hope that you guys enjoyed this week's post.  Let me know in the comments what you thought. :-)  If you haven't already, read the post that started it off: Diary of an Emotional Eater.  

Have a safe and happy 4th of July everyone and I'll see you back here with a brand new post on July 17th!!

Photo credit lurve: Photo by Heather & Tim

4 comments:

  1. I love the transparency of this site and this article. Although I don't share the same struggle, I have challenges of my ow n that these feelings fit perfectly into.

    Thanks

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  2. I am a huge emotional eater as well. I struggle with it big time! I could so relate to this post on so many levels. It's nice to see you being so transparent with your feelings concerning the struggle of it all.

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  3. Great post. You've explained the feeling I get late at night when I just have to have a snack. When I can't figure out if I'm really hungry or just... in the middle of some feeling or anxiety. It's good to see myself in your words 'cause that means I doing the self-reflective work. Congrats on the webinar and on not eating the cookie!

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  4. First, congrats on stepping out of your comfort zone, the mere thought of that would make many run for the hills (self included). I loved that you recognized what you were experiencing, for me that is half the battle.

    Thank you for sharing :)

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