Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Person You Want to Be

Photo by Wendy House
The theme of this month O Magazine is 20 questions that all women should answer. The premise is that these questions have the power to propel huge life lessons and catapult you into a major shift.  

I wasn't much of a believer until 20 minutes later when I found that I had dog eared most of the questions, pondered many areas of my life, and walked away with a handful of future post ideas.  The questions did indeed open my mind.  It all started with, "How do I want to be remembered?", then after reading "What I Know For Sure", this post was born. 

The Light was Fading
I noticed that I hadn't been myself for the last couple of months.  The viciousness of my inner voice was at an all time high.  It wasn't sassing or berating me as it usually does, but it was extremely nasty with regards to others.  My patience seemed shorter than usual and I felt annoyed by even the smallest thing.  My light felt dimmer.  After years of cursing like a sailor long at sea, I quit cold turkey, with a words slipping out here or there.  I noticed that I was cursing more frequently.  Even though I had tried to keep my funkiness to myself, I know that people had noticed and / or felt the difference in me.

The Answer to the Question
While reading this month's issue, the question, "what kind of person do you want to be?" jumped out at me.  I felt this overwhelming need to answer the question, so I sat in peace and this is my answer.

I want to be kind.  I want to be known as someone who has prided herself on being considerate of others.  I want to be someone who is giving of all that I have: time, money, a shoulder, love, a warm smile, and great hugs (just like my mom).  I want to personify my daily affirmation, "I am radiant.  I am the sun."  I want to be a pillar for others and a safe space for them.  
I want to be a source of positivity.  

Oprah puts it perfectly, "I want to live with a heart open to life."  Ultimately, I want to be a woman who drinks life in like a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.  A woman who truly wishes for the best for all people.  I want to be a woman that my mom and everyone in our "village" raised me to be.

Then I asked myself, "Do my current actions and attitudes reflect the kind of person that I want to be?"  My honest answer was, "Sorta kinda.  Ok, not really."

I am some those things, at times, some a more than others and some not at all.  The times that I have truly embodied the person that I want to be, I've felt so weightless.  Unburdened.  Boundless.  It is such a great feeling when I'm there, but it is hard to remain there.      

Now, I could go further and figure out some things to do that could bring me back there.  (Look for a post about that soon.)

Why Do It?
The biggest thing that these questions brought home, is that we should answer thought provoking questions like these on a regular basis.  It is so important to check in, because we are constantly changing.  What worked before to ensure your happiness may not be working now.  If through our answers, we're unhappy and progressing in a manner that isn't working, we can take note and dig deeper into it to make changes. 

These questions help us examine where we are in our lives, figure out what is important, what makes us happy, areas where we could use help, and how we can be helpful to others.  Armed with fresh information, we can course correct or add little bits that bridge gaps and bring us closer to living the way that brings us the most joy.  

If you need help figuring out what questions to answer, this month's O Magazine is a great place to start.  :-)

Lights. Camera. Action.
What are some characteristic that describe who you want to be?  Do your current actions and attitude reflect the person you described?  What are some things you can do now to bring you closer to being more like that person?

As always, your responses are helpful to the entire community here and I look forward to reading your them.  Thank you for reading!

Photo credit lurve: Photo by Wendy House

1 comment:

  1. I am aware of two forces within me, each one wanting to be remembered for something in particular:

    My ego wants to be remembered for being a 'thought-leader', someone who creates or provides something 'groundbreaking' to the world. Creative, inspirational, blah blah blah. It's all wrapped up in a nice spiritual box, but I know it's my ego cos it's more concerned with getting than giving.

    My HEART, on the other hand, wants to be remembered for being loving, and safe, and gentle. I want to offer people a soft place to land, and a place where they can share their fears, pain, trauma, struggles and shame in an atmosphere and relationship that hears them, holds them and falls in love with them.

    Thank you for the opportunity to check in with you here today.